Understanding You
by crookshanks99
Summary: SPOILERS! COMPLETE, WOO! Contains real life situations namely Bulimia. I wrote this story after I watched someone close suffer from an eating disorder. M for a reason! tragedy/hurt/comfort/supernatural. I ONLY OWN THE PLOT, NOTHING ELSE! R&R and enjoy!
1. The Beginning

NOTE: Again, I apologise for any grammar/spelling mistakes. My personal favourite. Sadly, I don't own anything other than the plot. Thanks for reading 

**The beginning**

"… _Fred's eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh etched upon his face…"_

The sun stung his eyes as a figure opened his curtains. "Mum, what are you doing? Close the curtains!" "Sorry George dear, I thought you were awake…" Molly Weasley closed the curtains before stroking her third eldest soft, red hair… _one of _her third eldests'. Tears welled before she could stop herself and before she knew it she was crying in earnest on George Weasley's bed. He sat up and put his arm around her heaving shoulders as best as he could. "Oh mum, don't, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout…" "It's not you George," sniffed Mrs Weasley. "It's just… oh, it's nothing, I'm just being silly…" She made to get up but George grabbed her arm. "Mum, what is it?" "Oh George dear, it's just, for a moment I… I thought… I thought you were Fred…" She buried her face in her hands as fresh, muffled sobs engulfed her. "Oh mum, don't, please." "I'm sorry George… tell you what, I'll bring you some breakfast up but _do _try to eat it this time, you don't want to make yourself ill." She went downstairs to make breakfast.

George buried his head under his pillow. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want to get up. He just wanted to lay there and never wake up again. He couldn't think straight and before he could shake the thoughts of his dead twins face out of his mind, silent tears made their way down his face. He tried to stop, he tried so hard. He didn't want his mother to see him like this; she had enough to deal with. He wiped his face with his bed covers and sat up. "George," called Mrs Weasley up the stairs. "Did you want it brought up or would you rather come down?" "I'll come down, thanks mum!" Every step down the stairs felt like massive leap. Every time his foot hit the floor it felt like a blade stabbing at his heart but he forced himself to go on.

He could hear the murmur of voices, he pushed open the door and the murmuring instantly died away. They all turned to stare at George. "What is this? A freak show? If you want to have cosy little discussions about me then at least have the decency to do it when I'm not around!" "George…" Reasoned Percy Weasley. "Calm down now, no one's-" "_Don't _tell me to calm down!" Shouted George. "George, _stop _taking it out on me! This isn't our fault! The whole family is devastated but we're all trying to keep it together for you so _stop _acting like you're the only one who cares!" "HE WAS MY TWIN! MY OTHER HALF!" Screamed George. "How do you think I feel? I hadn't spoken to him for months and when I do he gets blown up!" "NO! DON'T! DON'T SAY IT!" "We all loved him George…" Sobbed Percy. "We still do…" George and Percy collapsed into each others arms, both crying heavily. "I'm sorry… I just, I just… loved him so much, I miss him Percy… how am I going to cope without him? Part of me has gone and it's never coming back…" "Shh, George, don't do this to yourself… try to concentrate on the good time you had with him, the DA, the pranks, the joke shop, how about-" "I'm not going back to the joke shop." Said George flatly. He hadn't been back to the joke shop since Fred's death. Percy put his head in his hands. "George, if you don't feel ready to go back to the shop then you don't have to." Said Mrs Weasley. George sat at the table and Ginny went up to him, sat on his lap and put her arms around him.

Ginny had become very clingy with her brother, in particular George, perhaps because was scared something similar would happen to them, or she needed something to cling to. She was anxious, obsessive and barely spoke anymore and constantly had to be reassured. It was almost as if she were eleven years old again. "It's ok Gin, don't worry, things will get better. It'll be ok." She only clung harder.


	2. Flashbacks

"George, _please _eat your breakfast. Ginny go and get dressed." Said Mrs Weasley, bustling around in the kitchen. "I'll eat upstairs mum, if that's ok." Replied George as Ginny made her way to her room. George took his toast upstairs; he stopped a floor before his bedroom and went into the bathroom. He put the toilet seat down, sat on it and put his head in his hands and almost immediately flashes of Fred came into his mind.

_The twins were nine years old. They had just been bought some Acid Pops from the sweet shop in Hogsmeade. "Ron, come here a minute." Called George as Fred unwrapped a green ice pop. "Ronnie, try this, it tastes really nice…" Grinned Fred as Ron's eye lit up. As soon as the ice pop touched his tongue he let out a piercing scream and small amount of smoke appeared from his mouth. The colour drained from Fred and George's faces and their mouths dangled open. Mr and Mrs Weasley rushed into the room and saw what happened. "How could you do that to him? He's seven years old! Upstairs in your room now, wait until I come up there!" Fred and George rushed into their room and moment later Mrs Weasley thundered up the stairs and stormed into their room and whacked them across their backsides with a broomstick. Their bottoms had never regained all of the feeling in them since._

_It was Fred and George's first day of their third year at Hogwarts. Ginny was upset that she couldn't go with them, she was only nine. They hung out of the window of one of the carriages and saw that Ginny was still teary. "Don't worry Ginny! We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!" She let a small grin escape._

_It was the battle of Hogwarts. Deatheaters were swarming the place shooting spells left, right and centre. Students, teachers, parents and the Order were fighting as hard as possible. Down a corridor George could see from his duel Fred, Percy, Ron, Harry and Hermione were tackling Deatheaters. Fred was laughing while locked in battle with a large Deatheater, typical Fred… when suddenly; there was an explosion that nearly deafened anyone within earshot. George thought it may have been Harry or maybe Ron creating a diversion but when George heard Percy screaming his twin's name he knew the worst had happened. He knew that his other half… was…_

"NOOO! FRED! COME BACK!" He screamed. He snatched up his breakfast and ate as fast as he could; he looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was messed, his face was shining with a mixture of cold sweat and tears, his stomach was turning and he felt sick and angry at what he had just done. George threw the toilet seat up and put two fingers down his throat, he heaved so hard it hurt him but nothing happened so he delved them in deeper and heaved again, but still nothing. He looked into the toilet bowel, the water was rippling and it needed cleaning, the very thought of it made him heave so he put all of his efforts into concentrating on that image and stuck his fingers into in his throat as deep as they would allow him. It was almost in slow motion, he felt the waste make its way up his stomach, burning the sides of his throat and slowly, disgustingly oozed out of his mouth, he coughed and spluttered; it was a truly horrid feeling but yet, satisfying at the same time.

He heard hurried footsteps thundering up the stairs then a series of wild bangs on the door. "George? _George! _Are you ok? I heard shouting!" Came the anxious voice of Mrs Weasley from outside the door. "I'm fine mum," called George as he flushed the chain and opened the door. "I'm just feeling really ill and I didn't get much sleep either." Mrs Weasley peered into his pale, sweaty face. "Of course, I didn't expect you to dear, perhaps you ought to go back to bed for a while?"

"Yeah I will actually, only don't let Ginny know, it'll set her off again." "Of course George, I won't say a thing. Go get some rest." She turned to walk away. "Mum?" "Yes dear?" He hugged her tight. "I love you," Mrs Weasley's eyes blurred with tears. "I love you too dear, is there anything else you need before I go down?" "No thanks," sniffed George. "Well give me a shout if you do." Mrs Weasley stroked her son's hair, despite only coming up to his shoulders.

George crossed the landing and climbed the stairs to his room, he laid on his bed and sobbed into his pillow. He knew he shouldn't have done what he just did. He'd heard about it before and even saw someone go through it. Ginny did when she was twelve. She told him and swore him to secrecy, he remembered it like it was yesterday…

"_George… George, can I talk to you? Please?" Said a very pale and scrawny-looking Ginny. "Sure Gin, what's up?" "I need to tell you something… I need to tell you why I'm poorly…" Ginny's eyes welled up. George put his arm around her and took a tissue from his pocket; he wiped her eyes with it. "Come on Gin, talk to me, I hate seeing you like this." "George I… I've been making myself sick. After I eat I… I put my fingers down my throat and-" "Oh Ginny! Why?" George held her tight as she cried her heart out on his shoulder. "I'm sorry George, I'm sorry…"_

But this wasn't like that. It couldn't be, he had only done it once anyway…


	3. Of Arguments and Sadness

"Promise you'll write to me." Said Ginny tearfully to her family. "Of course we will Ginny, don't worry, everything will be ok. We'll write everyday if you want us to." Replied Mrs Weasley. Ginny exchanged hugs with everyone; taking a little longer with George and waving even after the Hogwarts Express had turned the corner out of sight. George stood waving her off long after she had gone. "George dear, she's gone. Come on, let's go." George set of with his mum, dad, brothers, Harry and Hermione with a heavy heart.

"George, she'll be ok." Said Ron, the first he'd been able to speak to his brother properly since… that day. "Yeah, yeah I know." George patted Ron on the shoulder.

"It's ever so good of you to stay and help you two." Said Mrs Weasley as Harry, Hermione, Ron and the other Weasley men cleaned down the house. Harry and Hermione had moved into the burrow for a while so as to help Mrs Weasley around the house. The older Weasley boys came round as often as they could to do their share of housework and shopping as well. Harry and Hermione had lived there for six months and they wouldn't have it any other way.

"It's no problem, Molly. You deserve a break." Replied Harry. "Honestly, we don't mind at all. You need to rest, you work way too hard." Said Hermione, smiling. She looked positively thrilled to be helping clean the house. Mrs Weasley smiled at them both warmly but then her eyebrows knitted together; she hadn't seen George for at least two hours. "Have any of you seen George?" "No, I think he might be in his room. Shall I check?" Offered Ron. "Yes please dear, if you don't mind."

Ron made his way up the stairs; he heard retching from the second floor. Probably dad overeating again, thought Ron rolling his eyes. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks. Mr Weasley wasn't even in the house, he was at work. He rushed to the bathroom door and was greeted again with the sound of retching and… was that _sobbing_?

He heard a series of deep coughs. "George? George is that you?" Ron knocked hard on the door. The coughing and spluttering stopping and he heard the chain flush and the taps run. George opened the door to see Ron standing there gaping at him. George blinked and said "What? Something on my face?" Ron now looked somewhere between worried sick and absolutely livid. "George, _what _are you playing at?" "What are you talking about?" Asked George, knowing what might come next. "You're making yourself sick!" Ron shouted at him, he looked furious. George flushed. "Keep your voice down then! I only did it because I ate too much, that's all!" Ron thought he heard slight defensiveness in his voice. "George, don't treat me as if I'm thick, I've had enough of that! Are you forgetting Ginny went through the same thing?" "Don't be ridiculous! Of course I haven't! Do you think I would- that I…" George's anger had taken over him and he didn't seem to be able to find the right words. He made to walk away but he staggered and fell to his knees. "Shit!" He pulled himself up with the aid of the banister.

"George, you _are _making yourself sick! Look at you! You can't even stand up properly without holding something!" "Ron, don't be an idiot! I'm not ill, I'm fine! If you tell _anyone _what you just said, you'll wish you hadn't!" George yelled so loud flecks of saliva escaped form his mouth, he face was purple with rage but his panic was evident as he stood there, looking Ron straight in the eyes. He went to walk to his room nearly fell again but he had grabbed the banister again with such force that it wobbled a little. Ron's anger ebbed away only to be replaced with pity and sadness. The sight of his normally strong, cheerful and joking brother was truly awful. It was as though George had been taken away and replaced with a poorly made, terribly researched copy of the happy-go-lucky man. 

Fred's death really was taking his toll on him…

"At least let me help you to your room…" Ron put George's arm around his shoulders and put his own around George's waist. Slowly, they got up the stairs and Ron helped him into bed. "George, I won't say anything this time but if you do it again then I'll have to tell someone… I've lost one brother and I almost lost my sister twice… I won't lose you as well…" He left leaving George in his bed crying silently.

"George, I know I 'ave not been 'ere for you zat much but please come downstairs, zey are all vairy worried about you." Fluer looked at George's pale, gaunt, worn-out face. "I can't Fluer, don't worry, I'm fine, I'm just tired…" Fluer flared up at once. "George you are ill! Don't you dare lie to me, you are sick and you need 'elp!" "No Fluer! Look, I know you're all worried about me but don't be… I don't want to come downstairs I just want to lay here and sleep for a bit." He turned away from Fluer on his side, signalling the end of discussion. Fluer sighed and left the room, admitting defeat.

Half an hour later Hermione came in with a tray of sandwiches. "George?" No answer. Hermione gently nudged him but still got no response, she panicked and shook him. "Hermione!" "I-I'm sorry! I thought… well, you didn't answer." "Ok, well, thanks for the food but I'm not hungry at the moment." "George please, just-" "_Just _leave me alone Hermione. I wish everybody would stop trying to force feed me!" Hermione wiped her eyes as tears began to leak from them. "George we're worried about you, can't you see?" She pulled out her pocket mirror and held it to George's face. "Look! You're not George anymore! You're sick!" George snatched the mirror from her and threw it across the room. "GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OUT!" "George please!" "NO! GET OUT!" Hermione ran from the room and George slammed it behind her and locked it using his wand.


	4. When Dreams Come True

"Fred, why can't they just leave me alone

"Fred, why can't they just leave me alone? I'm not ill… there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just tired and grieving. Why can't they just let me do that?"

George had been like this for months, talking to his dead twin. He knew deep down that he wasn't there but George felt it was his only comfort. "Fred, please answer me," George pleaded. "Please, just give me a sign… open the window, turn the light on, anything…"

Nothing.

George gave up and the tears ran down his face. He slowly made his way out of the bed and to the bathroom, using the support of the banister. He sat himself on the toilet seat and ran his fingers through his dirty red locks. They, along with the other aspects of his personal hygiene, had been neglected for the past few months. He stood and faced the mirror above the sink, his breath fogging the mirror.

His hair was matted and unkempt, his eyes were dull without their usual mischievous sparkle, his face was tired, pale and gaunt and his teeth were slightly yellowing, his skin was covered in spots and sores. His collar bones were sticking out grotesquely, he could make out his ribs underneath his papery skin, his arms were ridiculously thin, the veins snaking their way down to his hands, his pelvic bone jutted out almost absurdly and his legs resembled matchsticks, his feet were bony and he could see the veins in them, like his arms and hands.

George Weasley was looking at himself clearly for the first time, it was asif someone had lifted the blindfold that had been there for just over six months. He felt repulsed at what he saw in the mirror, he couldn't believe what he had been putting his beloved family through all this time…

He took his wand from his pocket and jabbed it experimentally at his finger. A sharp intake of breath and a stinging pain in his left index finger told him that the spell had worked. "I'm sorry… I just miss you so much…" As he raised his wand again he heard "I miss you too, George…" He whipped around and, standing there wth a nervous grin on his face, was-

"F-Fred… you… it's… _Fred!_" Stammered George, gaping at Fred. "Course it's me you numpty! Who else would come to see you when you were about to top yourself you selfish bastard." George faltered for a split second. "B-but… you're dead!" Fred cocked an eyebrow. "Well, yeah, funnily enough, I'd figured that out for myself funnily enough but that's beside the point. What's happened to you George? You're a completely different person, a shadow of the man you used to be. I've been listening to you for months but for some reason I've never been able to get through to you until now." "Why is that?" Asked George. "Well, it's only when someone is so distraught, so traumatised that they contemplate taking their own life when you're able to get through. Anyway, listen to me. You can't keep blaming yourself or the family for what happened to me. Why won't you talk to them, eh?" George looked at his feet. "They won't understand," he replied sullenly. "They just don't understand how it feels-" "Because you won't let them." Finished Fred. "How can they understand how you feel if you won't tell them?"

George flared up at once. "Fred it feels like my heart's been ripped out! Like half of me has gone numb!" "George! _I _know how you feel because after tonight… I won't see you again…" For the first time that night a tear slipped down Fred's cheek. "For goodness sake George I love you and I know you love and miss me but you have to understand you have to try to move on. Get up, get some food down that scrawny neck of yours and open that damn joke shop! Let's face it, I think the family could do with a few laughs."

George smiled but found it hurt him a little. It had been six whole months since he last smiled and it was now he realised how much he missed it. "Well, that's a start." George stood and Fred followed suit. "Thank you Fred…" "Don't mention it… ever again! That's the first and last time you'll catch me being that soppy. You better not tell anyone about that." He warned jokingly, pointing at George. "I doubt they'd believe me if I did." Fred smiled. "Yeah, they'd probably cart you off to St. Mungo's. Can you imagine mums face? _My baby's gone mad, I think he's possessed! _The usual exaggeration." They both roared with laughter and once George started he found it hard to stop. "Fred, do you have to go?" "I'm afraid so George… my work here is done now. Now go and get that shop open." They both reached out to hug each other but Fred drifted straight through. "Well, we tried." Stated Fred as George shivered slightly. "Look after yourself. And don't you dare go pullin anymore stupid stunts like that. You scared me to death!" Fred winked at his grinning twin. "Goodbye Gred…" "Goodbye Forge…" George watched Fred drift away into nothingness with a heavy heart but a smile on his face.


	5. In Loving Memory

George carefully raised himself from his bed and, using the banister as a guide, made his way downstairs

Disclaimer: Nope I don't own anything at all except the plot. Unfortunately…

A/N: I'm putting the note here because the ending is really deep and I don't want to ruin the moment. Apologies for any mistakes i.e. grammar, punctuation. Also, I know it's kinda short but I wanted a whole chapter for this part. Anyway, I'm really proud of it, let me know what you think 

--

George carefully raised himself from his bed and, using the banister as a guide, made his way downstairs. Once again he heard worried, anxious voices coming from the kitchen. He opened the door and they stopped and stared at him.

"What?" George suddenly looked worried and he put his hand to his ear. "Is my other ear missing?" "Oh, _George!_" Mrs Weasley rushed over and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry everyone," said George as he was released. "I'm sorry about everything. From now on, it's a fresh start-" he grabbed piece of toast. "We're going to remember Fred with smiles on our faces, not tears in our eyes." He took a bite. "Now, I've got unfinished business, can someone get me some parchment and a quill please?" Mrs Weasley promptly placed these items in front of George on the table. He immediately wrote out a message to Angelina Johnson, Fred's former girlfriend.

_Angie, how have you been? I'm sorry I've not spoken to you this summer, really I am. I'll explain it all when we next meet. I really need your help. There's something I need to do at the shop but I need some help getting there, please could you come here right away?_

_George, x_

George sent this owl off and it flew right away to Angelina's home. A little more than two hours everyone spent in silence. George looked up to the window for what must have been the umpteenth time and saw a black dot in the sky that was the owl that George had been expecting. It crashed clumsily onto the tables, knocking over the rack of toast and spilling pumpkin juice on George's lap.

"Oh, great! That bloody owl's going senile!" George grabbed his wand and siphoned off most of the juice. He took the reply from the owl and tore it open:

_George,_

_Don't worry about it, really, but your excuse better be good. Of course I'll help you, are you ok? I'm worried about you. I'm Apparating so I should be there soon, I'm just going to get myself ready._

_Angie, x_

The moment he read the word 'Angie' he heard a loud 'pop' come from the garden. He made to get up and meet her out there but he stumbled. "Let me help George, dear," offered Mrs Weasley and she put an arm around his waist while he put his arm around her shoulders. She led him to the yard and there stood Angelina Johnson. As soon as she laid eyes on George her jaw dropped and her eyes were wide.

"George! What on earth-? What _happened?_" She rushed over and supported his other side and together, she and Mrs Weasley led George back into the kitchen. Angelina looked half-worried, half-stern. "George Weasley, what on earth has happened to you?" George looked up at her, her eyes were wide and she had her hands on her hips. "Angie, it's a long story. I've been ill, really ill. I made a stupid mistake but I'm fine now. I need your help." Angelina's expression softened. "What is it?" "Could you Apparate us to the joke shop please? I need you to help me with something."

Angelina smiled and said "Of course." She helped him up from the chair and put one of his arms around her shoulders. "Ready?" "As I'll ever be," he replied. She turned on the spot and the two of them were whirling through nothingness. Suddenly, they appeared in the empty and cold-looking joke shop. George looked around sadly. "So what is it you need me to help with, George?" Asked Angelina. George smiled. "Well, I need to you to…"

"It looks fantastic George; I just know he'd love it…" Said Angelina, smiling up at the wall. "You know Angie, you're right. We did great." He smiled proudly, looking up at the same wall. "You miss him, don't you?" George looked at her. "The dead we loved never truly leave us…" She smiled at him. "Come on George, let's open up." They both walked away from the huge grinning, moving poster of Fred Weasley with the message 'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes… in loving memory of Fred Weasley.'

--

"_**I cannot and I will not say**_

_**That he is dead,**_

_**He's just away…"**_


End file.
